The Interesting Things God Does to Get Our Attention...

So,

Transparency right? This blog has been the bill that I don't want to open. Like, I know it's there, but facing it means I have to face where I've shammed as well. I haven't written in over a MONTH! I know this will not be a daily blog, but I would like to update more than once a month. Lets at least get a bi-weekly post going on...

Man, Lent is over! This was the most intense Lent season I've ever allowed myself to experience. Notice I said, "allow myself", God always wants to have wonderfully intense experiences with us--we have to choose to obey. This year I gave up dating, and while doing that, I have been reading Every Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge. I suggest EVERY WOMAN to read it! It's powerful, and I'm not but halfway done.

Anywho, I realized a lot of things about myself. I realized why I date, why I had reoccurring relationship problems in my dating life, and I have also began to walk in the understanding of Christian dating. I really don't want this to be a long post, so if you want to know, just respond and we'll talk. Now, although I have come to these epiphanies over a course of 46 days, I know I am not ready to dive right back in. Part of being single (READ: non-married) is devoting your singleness to Christ. So that's what I'm doing (and sometimes failing in).

In the past two weeks, I haven't felt God as close to me as I've wanted to, but I felt too busy to do something about it. I felt that "He would understand" or that my day would be unproductive if I don't keep it moving and just fix it later. Days turned into 2 or 3 weeks and all the while I've wanted more personal time with God.

So yesterday, I got a call.

A friend asked me if I would come to her bible study group and be the speaker for their co-ed bible study. I almost fell out of my chair in Q'doba. First, I was flabbergasted because I admire her Walk and for her to ask me to speak...well that's a great consideration. Second, I felt doubt and satan creeping in. 

It began with, I don't know everything in the Word, and what if I get questions I don't have the answers to? and then it moved to, I was a HEATHEN in college, NEVER went to Bible Study and traipsed around campus drunk...what do I have to share? I am pretty sure there are others who have felt this way...

Revelations 12:11 comes to mind, They overcame him (satan) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives to much as to shrink from death (NIV). I have a testimony, I have a story that can (1) bring people to Christ or closer to Him, and (2) by telling it, I can continue to conquer satan and the hold he TRIES (but doesn't succeed) to place on my life.

I've really been thinking about and praying about my walk and how I want to truly be sold-out for Christ. I think this is one of those instances when I must put up, or shut up. Show others what I'm made of in Christ, for I'm fearfully and wonderfully made.

Oh yeah, and I'll be getting my Extra-Special time with God over the next 6 days, I have to truly prepare for this Bible Study. I want my "self" and flesh out of the way. I don't want to say anything that's not from Him.

Whew, how can preachers and pastors get up and do this EVERY WEEK??! My hat goes off to ya'll...

~Lauren